Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001
Posted by Dottie-IN on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 11:02
Yes, I did mention wearing apparel but I changed my mind. I mean, since Kat doesn't plan to show up today, why bother with the wearing apparel because we all know she would surely have been the winner in that beautiful yellow swim suit of hers, don't we? What kind of contest would that be? snort snort She just declared herself a loser by not showing up. For my show and tell I would like to show you my new underwear. No, I am not wearing them...these are still in the package from Tents-R-Us. (climbing up step ladder and opening box) Will somebody please help me lift these? Thank you...now, Miss Frances, would you please grab ahold of the other side and walk across the stage so we can unfold them? Thank you very much, sweetie pie. That's it hold them up above your head so they don't drag on the ground. (Underwear are now stretched all the way across the stage). These are special made at Tents-R-Us and come in sizes 15X to 40X. The size 40X are only available when a circus closes down. Somebody named Frieda keeps them bought out as fast as they become available though. Luckily, I only need a 25X. Notice the drawstring around the top to adjust in case you lose weight. Also notice the fine canvas waterproof fabric these delicate garments are made of. Now let's turn them around so they can see the back. What? That printing? That says Barnum and Bailey on it....you see, Barnnum is my married name and Bailey was my maiden name....personalized and won't wash off either. What do you have to show us? Follow-Up Postings: RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Frieda__IL on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 11:18 I beg your pardon????? I'll have you know that I have my own custom tent and awning manufacturer. I have to be in style, you know! Martha can't hold a candle to me!!! Now, let me get my gig and grommets in place and get back to this contest... RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Dances_in_garden on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 11:58 I would like to show you all what I look like each morning. My hair, a defiant plume, is standing up in such a way that one would think each hair is going in a different direction. Notice the bad dye job and growing out haircut, and pay particular attention to the roots, which are mouse-butt-brown. Now we move on to my face, complete with puffy bloodshot eyes, a wrinkled brow (from excessing frowning), the beginnings of crows feet (from excessing squinting) and, Oh Look! Is that a hive on her cheek? Why yes it is! DH splashed her with soapy water as a joke, but alas she is allergic to that soap today. Do not forget the pillow creases on her face, which will remain there until at least 5pm. We move down to her chin, painstakingly plucked and hairless at this momemnt, and down further across her soon-to-be-crepey neck, a la her mothers genes. Notice the swell of her bustline, a youthful and perky pair. Also notice the industrial strength spandex bra that is keeping those things up there and defying every law of gravity. We can't stop at the waist because there isn't one, but there is a large speed bump in the way of hips. Hips that are technically large enough to carry a busload of children atop their expanse, but in the absence of a waist it cannot be done. Now down, past the pot belly, further and further and we have finally met the bottom of the buttocks, that used to be above the hemlines of her skirt but now droop below. Either hemlines have been raised or her butt has moved down, who is to tell? (We know the truth, don't we). On to the legs, which start hairless at the ankle, and get hairier and hairier as we go up to the thighs. Bikini line? What bikini line? What we have here is a bikini jungle. In her infinite wisdom, Dances has decided that whatever can't be seen when she wears pants does not need to be shaved (hence the hairless ankles). Take a moment to give condolences to her DH. And finally, the piece de resistance, her ugly feet. Complete with thick caluses from many years of going barefoot and wearing ill fitting shoes. Notice that her third toe on both feet is longer than the second, previous toe stub injuries of her youth. And the little piggies that went wee wee wee all the way home are TINY little things, barely there and shaped sort of like a half finished cheese doodle. Note the spider veins on the hairless ankles, and the cayenne pepper markings on the tops of the feet. A sunburst of broken capillaries forming a breathtaking pattern. Dances takes a deep bow, gathers her thoughts and her folds of flab, and leaves the stage. RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: lori_in_no_utah on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 12:11 Although it is ugly and disfiguring and will shock and offend, my show and tell for the Miss KT 2001 Contest is my beautiful, two day old black eye. As the photos are not back yet I will bring this bruise to life with words: It is the right eye (as if anyone could miss it) that this dilly mess of broken blood vessels begins, a few inches above the eyebrow (blonde and unplucked for 45 years)....note the wonderful, delicate hue of blue. Now, moving downwards, toward the eye see how the robins egg blue blends, ever so subtly, to lavender, marred only by the unplucked, wild blonde eye brown hairs. A little cut, (which bled like hell, may I add) about 1/2 inch in length, dramaticly CUTS through the blonde grow of hair, now a dull red, gives a violent contrast to the otherwise pretty blue bruise. Directly beneath the wild eyebrow growth our bruise suddenly and jarring turns into a deep purple, almost eggplant, and encircles the eye. My beautiful blue/green eye is now nearly hidden by the drooping, purple cast, ending with a bright red-eyeliner effect at the lid. Note how the bruise spreads, ever so delicately over the nose and almost, but not quite to the left eye, and smears downward, to the cheekbone. Our bruise tones are now lightening up, featuring a greenish-blue, almost yellow appearance. Eye glasses, crooked and held together with a paper clip, set screwywhumpus over the entire, colorful masterpiece of rampant blood drainage under the skin, gives the perfect frame to this remarkable display of color. Although this is a serious and solemn occasion and a bow from the contestant is in order, I am sure our esteemed judge will overlook this faux paus....a great throbbing pain occurs and I get dizzy if I bend my head past my chest area........... Lori in No Utah who is walking, regally off the stage, head held high and proudly, wearing her favorite baggy seated cutoff sweat pants and a nightshirt which reads: I Don't Do Mornings and saggy sweatsocks RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Kat_Wa on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 12:23 Show and tell? Show and Tell? Well, if anyone is interested, I can show you a letter that I just received from this judge! I can tell you that she called you all a not very nice name... I will post it here if you are interested.... huh.... show and tell...show and tell... ahahahahahaha RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 and judge's letters Posted by: lori_in_no_utah ([email protected]) on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 12:30 A letter from the judge? About me? Are you trying to tell us this pageant is rigged??? Pish, posh....I don't believe it! The Miss KT Pageant has a time honored tradition of fairness and upfrontednewss and those who speak of such underhanded behavior should be banished, forever.....btw, Kat....my email address is a good one....send it to me, please.......!!!????? lori in no utah who gets a good laugh at all of this RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: JoanMN on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 12:32 Do tell, Kat!! We want to see what that crooked judge is up to now!! RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Frieda__IL on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 13:01 Here I am, YOUR HONOR!!!!! Had to scrap the tent idea. The gromets and snaps were not heavy duty enough to hold this fabulous bod... I would like to show you the scars and bruises that this stinking contest has cost me! For the swim suit contest, I used permanent markers to paint my scars and strechmarks so, YOUR HONOR I have neon blue strechmarks and green a c-section scar for a lifetime. We don't have to mention the thong that had to be cut off this beautiful body! Since, I didn't win the first contest like Coral did, I couldn't afford the thongectomy. My hips are dislocated from all the hula hoop tricks I had to do for the Talent contest. Now, I just know I will win this contest... Would you like to borrow my new reading glasses, YOUR HONOR??? They are Foster Grants and I know they would help your eyesight a lot!!!!!! RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Kat_Wa on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 13:24 This letter was received from Judge Dottie, just this morning.... Dear Kat, You are my favorite Kter. You are the best, most beautiful, most loverly of all. I am telling you, that if you hadn't started a boycott, you would most certainly have been the winner! I will probably pick you anyway, boycott and all. You set such a fine example for all of our KT Kingdom. You are the star! Please let me know if I can be of assistance for anything you need in your life. The rest of this group are such a bunch of suck ups! Can you believe it? With total and complete awe, your humble servant, Miss Spottie Dottie, Judge RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Murphy IN on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 13:51 AHHHH! I got the SAME letter!!!! "Dearest precious, Murphy. You are my favorite Kter. You are the best, most beautiful, most loverly of all. I am telling you, that if you hadn't started a boycott, you would most certainly have been the winner! I will probably pick you anyway, boycott and all. You set such a fine example for all of our KT Kingdom. You are the star! Please let me know if I can be of assistance for anything you need in your life. The rest of this group are such a bunch of suck ups! Can you believe it? With total and complete awe, your humble servant, Miss Spottie Dottie, Judge" Well, I couldn't come up with a talent. I'm busy outside cutting grass but had to come in and check the competition. I guess for today, I'll have to say that my talent is lying. I don't know how good I am at being convincing BUT, Her Judge, the cheater, didn't send me this freaking letter. I lied, felt unwanted and wanted to pretend like I was her favorite. Heading back out to the 90* heat and sun and shaming myself for lying. NOT! RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Aunt Audrey on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 14:32 What kind of woman wants to look at other womens underwear?????????? Well, check mine out madam Judge, and read the fine print! RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Crafty on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 14:53 Now Aunt Audrey... if that were Judgie's backside there'd be a line already. RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Frances CA on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 15:25 Funny you all should mention a letter. Here's mine, Dearest dearest of them all Frances... I am writing you this message as I sit here juding the Show and Tell Competition. It's so boring right now on stage. That Brat Kat just came on once again lying through her dentures. My gosh her nose must be 3 feet by now from all that lying. I bet by the end of the day it will grow another foot or so. Oh no it know looks like she corrupted that crazy woman who calls herself Murphy! You know the one that has googoo eyes who we had to grab with a hook to get her off stage the other day. Just be careful when you enter the stage and spotlight. Why? Well you are going to had to move around their growing noses and nose hairs that come out and look like spikes. Between you and mean I wish Brat Kat and Murphy would pick out their nose hairs before their hairy noses become a fashion statement with these young kids of today. Let's just hope they don't decide to go and dye the nose hairs some crazy color to match their outfits. Well I better go and see who just came on stage probably another crazy woman. With total and complete awe of those two crazy women who lie, lie lie and think everyone will believe them, your humble servant, Miss Spottie Dottie, Judge Madam Judge next time you want someone to help you with your Tent-R-Us underwear size 25X pick on I mean pick someone else. I need to go and rest my back before I make my entrance, but I'LL BE BACK.... Frances ;) BTW Madam Judge, Kat would be a loser whether she enters the contest or not! ducking and sneaking away before Brat Kat and Murphy reads this.... a woman (me) gots to do what a woman gots to do to win this contest ;) RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: joycefl on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 15:43 I'll show & tell how I can toss a flaming baton.........Hey! my hair's on fireeeeeeeeeeee..........later......... RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Crafty on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 16:07 Ok... I'll SHOW. I have something that is round and red. It has a fleshy white inside, and little black things in the middle. Now if no one is able to TELL me what it is, I win. Right Honourable Judge Dorothy? RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Joy_CA on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 16:13 I, feel bad I am not able to join this 'Competition'. I am not about to show you...or anyone...and I certainly would never tell...soooo, that lets me out. Of course, I'm still stinging a bit, form the Talent Comp...sniff, sniff...so unfair... Joy oops ! Posted by: Joy_CA on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 16:16 That's from not form...however...now, that I think about it... J. RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: koda_al on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 16:29 i feel so cheated from the last competitions i dont have the heart to go on just because i am not a major suck-up and have nothing of value to bribe doTTie ..... i feel i dont have a chance i was by far the most beautiful and talented contestant and didnt even receive a dishonorable mention !!!!!!!! yeppers this whole affair is rigged i tell ya StrayCat ...... do something with your momma !!!!! she is getting old and senile ..... she probably needs some medicine or something .... koda_who_is_not_a_sore_loser really_i_am_not i am outta here !!!!!!!!!! RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: BIZZYMOM on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 16:30 Crafty...is it a plum?...Bizzy RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Murphy IN on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 16:45 Ok, since I can't let you win by default Crafty, I'm guessing it's a booger in your nose???? OK, that takes care of that one. NEXT! GEEZ, Dottie. Look what you've done. I'm such a nice person generally and now you've got me being hateful. Sorry everyone for any of the mean things I've said. I really am thee sweetest peep you'll ever meet. Hey Judge. You are going to have a Miss congeniality aren't you? Cuz if you are, I'm sure I'll win THAT one. *S* RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: SandieLee on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 18:15 I am way to shy to be in this contest with all of these beautiful and talented women.I just want say that I think you are all winners!Oh Crafy,is it an apple? RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: littlebit on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 18:23 I shall return later for my turn on the stage so if someone could please step in and do theirs I would greatly appricate it. Sadly, I have to go the the funeral home, a neighbor passed on..but I will be back to do my show and tell. littlebit RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Frances CA on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 18:59 I was going to show off my unmentionables that I won yesterday, but someone stole them. Therefore Madam Judge I must tell you I am so sorry but I can't get up for obvious reasons. See!as the hunks are rolling me onto the stage. Thank you one and all for allowing me to compete in the 1st Annual Miss KT 2001 competition. I have made so many, many friends during this contest that I just know I am going to cry when it is time to say goodbye to all of my fellow competitors who tried to win the $100,000,000 to improve the world and looked so beautiful in their swimsuits. The 1st Annual Miss KT 2001 competition had so many talented and quickwitted ladies that my mascara streamed down my face from weeping (laughing) and my slender sides ached (also from laughing so hard.) Madam Judge I will now sit here in my tub watching the others contestants go through their s and m routine, oops I mean their s and t routine. RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: JoanMN on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 19:09 Well, I know I can't beat the tents-r-us display, so once again, I will be sitting backstage howling and eating cheesecake...today, with chocolate crust. Anyone else?? RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Crafty on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 21:45 Nope BizzyMom and nope SandieLee, it's not an apple nor plum. Gee, this win is going to be easy. RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: littlebit on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 22:23 Tonight I am going to share with everyone the creation that I made 4 almost 5 years ago. I call it THE Doall. That's right the DOALL stands about 3 feet high and only weighs in at about 40 pounds. What does the Doall do you ask? Well what doesn't it do? I will just give you a simple list of what the Doall can do. It can take remove the doors from the hinges,remove the hinges,take phone jacks off the wall,cut the power to all the outside sheds,blow all the fuses in the house,turn the computer on when it needs to be off and off when it needs to be on. It can destroy a room in 10 seconds flat and then clean it again if it wants to. Have you ever needed the water supply to the drinking fountain at the local library cut off? Well the Doall can perform that little task in no time flat. What about 1000 copies made of nothing? Another task that the Doall can handle The Doall is not limited to inside use either..it can jack a car up,put pinstripes on the same car only using a magic marker. It can also take a lawnmower apart and put it back together and even change carborators(sp)on the mowers. Need the neighbor's black dog painted white? Well the doall can even help accomplish this little feat. No job is too big or too small for the Doall. Littlebit now steps aside so everyone can see her DOALL entering the stage. It's actually my dear son Peyton!! No I am sorry he is the only one like it and I will not be making any more of him. Don' pull the curtains down Son. Oops Sorry Judge Dottie didn't realize he had found your drawers backstage. I promise I will get several of the ladies back there to help fold them back up. Peyton please don't unpluggggggggg the lights!!! As the stage is plunged into total darkness Littlebit and her Doall leaves the stage quietky... RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Frieda__IL on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 22:54 OK, Crafty! A mountain apple... RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Crafty on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 23:14 Nope Frieda. Nice try though. Oh, and good luck to you. RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Frieda__IL on Wed, Jun 13, 01 at 23:55 One more try Crafty! A pomegranate..... Oh and thanks for the good luck but, I think this whole contest is rigged and bought! RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Donna OH on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 0:12 Well, missy judge, I already SHOWED You my BOD, & told you about my Great Talents, but I don't think you even considered me!!!! So, guess I'll just go sit with Joan & eat cheesecake-- (crying), Donna (^_^) RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Aunt Audrey on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 1:59 Crafty do you have an An ingrown hair? RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: lori_in_no_utah on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 2:03 It is 12:03 Mountain Standard Time.......I want to know who won this blasted segment!!!! lolololol lori in no utah who just now got a minute to sit down and visit the KT and hopes the cheesecake isn't all gone..... RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Murphy IN on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 2:08 As a last ditch effort........I remembered something that happened in Kindergarten. I was standing in the middle of the circle where the kids sat on the floor waiting for me to "show and tell". I was nervous and had the hem of my skirt in my hands swinging back and forth lifting my skirt. Pretty soon all the boys (and some girls) were leaning their heads all the way down to the floor and looking under my skirt. Suddenly I realized that I had forgotten my underpants that morning. I didn't have clean ones and my mom washed a pair out and put them on the heater to dry. I walked out of the house without them. When I realized what the kids were looking at I dropped to my knees and started crying. I guess I've got 'show and tell' in my blood. So Miss Dottie, That's my best effort at winning. I would love to do it for you again but somehow I don't think it would go over quite the same. If by chance I don't win, I'll be back with a full reenactment. *S* RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Frances CA on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 2:59 PLEASE DON'T! I BEG YOU DON'T PUNISH US ANY MORE! ROFLMBO So Murphy you were just flasher in the making? My gosh woman have you no shame? I beg you to stop it you are killing me with just the thought. ROFDyingFromL Please Madam Judge crown Murphy the winner and save us from what she is planning to do to us!! I beg you Madam Judge to please select Murphy the winner of this segment. I am even withdrawing from this segment so you won't have me badmouthing you after you select her but only her. I beg, plead, and whine for the other contestants to do the same. Remember those goo-goo eyes? Do you want Murphy harming us even more? Remember those innocent little boys and girls in her class. They are scared for life from witnessing her version of "show and tell!" Need I say more?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Crafty on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 5:42 LOL AuntAudrey. Thanks for trying but nope. Come to think of it, I wonder if we're allowed to show our ingrowns. And nope Frieda. Not a pomergranate, even though they do have a bit of white inside. But no black. lol Murphy. Reminds me of my first dirty joke that I heard back when I was eight (told by a school friend.) Mommy: Didn't I tell you not to climb a tree in your dress because the boys will see your underwear. Little girl: But mommy, I didn't have any underwear on. RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: LauraNY on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 8:04 So Murphy is show and telling about her pet beaver, eh? Well I can top that, but instead I am going to sit with the losers and eat cheesecake - I hate that trip to Disney. LauraNY who has more 'pets' than Murphy's *old* beaver. RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: JoanMN on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 8:30 Oh, yah, Murphy, like they even HAD kindergarten when you were little!!! RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: DianaL (My Page) on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 9:14 Well, I missed the competition yesterday. *pout* As I was deathly ill, I will have to console myself with the fact that I didn't miss much...it seems. *g* But, I might as well give you my show and tell. Me. Yesterday. Let's all open our imaginations as I spin this tale for you, of someone who can actually turn green. It all began at 3:30 in the morning, Thursday night. Or Friday morning (it doesn't matter at that point). I woke up with that tell-tale rumble in my belly. The one that says I better run like he11 to the bathroom. Barely made it there. Whew! DH asking from the bed, " Are you okay?" I don't think I answered. Fall back into bed with that oh so nasty taste in my mouth, even after brushing. Tears still fresh on my cheecks. Glug. Wake up Thursday morning. Roll over to sit up and realize the bedroom has suddenly turned into a roller coaster. Whoa! What the he11 was that! Oh, it was DH kissing me on the forehead, telling me to call in to work. But will I? No! I struggle into the shower, manage to not puke in the tub. First acomplishment of the day. Get DD into her clothes and out to the car. Oh crap! I forgot to brush my hair! Go back into the house and brush my hair. Get DD to my dad's. Get to work. Stumble into the conference room for our monthly meeting and almost die. Everyone has ordered breakfast. The overwhelming odor hits me and I literally turned green. Everyone stared. Slowly inching away from me. My eyes start watering, my chin is quivering. But I make it through! After escaping, I slink to my boss's office and mumble something about going home. He holds a handkerchief over his nose and nods. So off to home I go. Traveling at about 10 mph, on a 55 mph road. Just in case I have to let loose. I collapsed on the couch, and that is where I stayed the whole day. Even when DH and DD came home. Up until DH convinced me to go to bed. And here I am today. Exhauseted, but otherwise feeling better. I'm sorry I missed the contest, but perhaps Judge Dottie will be lenient with me. RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001*** Posted by: DianaL on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 9:18 Okay, see? My brain is still fried. I got sick WEDNESDAY night, or thursday morning. RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Dottie-IN on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 10:16 Okay, okay...hold on....the winners of the Show and Tell Competition are as follows.....please hold your booing and hissing until I'm finished. Thank you! First place winner is littlebit and her DOALL. Let's hear it for her!!! Yeah, yeah, yeah....Runner up is lori-in-no-utah. Clap, clap, clap, shake your boo...oh. We all know that beautifully colored eye was given to her by Crafty. Honorable mention goes to Murphy who never even attended school, let alone kindergarten. For all you sideline sitters, I'm downright ashamed of you!!! All these years I've read what all you did and what all you made and you can't come up with one single thing to show and tell? How pathetic!!!! If we have a Dork Derby do you think you can enter that? (Judge Dottie walking offstage until tomorrow....) RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Murphy IN on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 10:19 Diana. I'm SO glad you're feeling better. I felt sick just reading about your day/night. LOL Crafty. I was an innocent little Catholic girl and never ALLOWED any one to tell ME dirty jokes. Shame on you! WAIT, Is the answer to your question, the Newspaper? Laura. Don't be a chicken. If I can be a beaver the least you can do is tell your story. You won't get sent to Disney. Honest. Trust me! *G* Alright for you Joan. Now I'm not sharing my stretch pants with you. Ok, you can have the pair that I cut off and wear as speedos with my halter top but you can't borrow the halter. That's what you get for being so mean. Now that I have Frances 'picturing' me doing a reenactment, That's Crown enough for me!!!!!! ROTFLMBO and it's only 9:30 a.m. RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Crafty on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 10:23 Soooooooo........HJD Are you going to put us and the whole KT out of our misery from this thread?? It's not really going anywhere anymore. All contestants had their chance. Give Murphy her win [for boldness] and let's get to the finals. (Oh, forgot to mention that you could be the runner up.) Honorable mention/Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Murphy IN on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 10:26 OH my goodness. I was posting as you were announcing the winner Miss Dottie Judge. HONORABLE MENTION? Ok, that's as close as I'll ever get. Thank you Madam Dottie. You're my hero! I have to go now. I'm going to email all my friends and family. *SSSSSSSSSS* RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: littlebit on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 10:46 I just want to say Thank you Judge Dottie. I never dreamed my Doall would come in handy to help me win the Show and Tell Competition. The sad part is that nothing in my show and tell was a lie. He has done all of the above and more and everyone will be glad to know that I have sent him back home with his father. So there should be no more power outages here. Also I would like to say congratulations to the runner up Lori and the honorable mention..Murphy. littlebit Congrats Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Murphy IN on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 10:55 I'm SO sorry. In all my excitment I forgot to congratulate the winners. As much as I hate to admit it, I loved littlebit's Doall! :) Way to go lori. Boy, talk about the cream rising to the top! LMBO on the 'Dork Derby' Dottie. Oops Posted by: Crafty on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 10:58 Guess I posted at the same time too. Nah Murphy. There was no answer. I was just being difficult, but OBVIOUSLY Judgie didn't catch on. Congrats all on your wins!! I just read DoAll's post for the first time - that's original!! I better get serious for the finals because Judgie seems to be getting serious. (P.S. Murphy, you had a pet beaver in Kindergarten?? That's a bit young to have such an animal, isn't it?) RE: Show And Tell Competition - Miss KT 2001 Posted by: Frieda__IL on Thu, Jun 14, 01 at 11:37 LOL, Murphy!!!!!!! That's not true, is it? Too funny... Congrats, littlebit! I liked your gig so, you are a true winner, unlike some people! I'm sure you didn't bribe the judge.... |
I was just a swingin...
I was just a swingin...
Posted by jay-jayfl on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 16:07
Talk about dumb.I decided to take down pine garland and lights from my cathedral ceilings.I put the extension ladder up against the ceiling beam.When I got almost to the top the ladder started sliding down the beam and into the ceiling fan. I grabbed the fan and the ladder fell,leaving me hanging from the fan which I knew wouldnt hold my weight.I swung my body to the right,let go,and landed upside down on a loveseat,kinda.I now have a sore shoulder and ankle.Do you do things like this????
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Follow-Up Postings:
RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Kris/Mid-South on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 16:16
I'm so glad you are all right, but your description had me ROTFL! Golly, the images you conjured up!! And sorry to disappoint, jay-jay, but I don't do things like that (and live to tell). Take care of that shoulder and stay away from ladders and ceiling fans. I'm still LOLLOL!! Please don't come back later and tell us you have a broken bone, then all of us will feel guilty about cracking up!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: KathyLev-WI on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 16:19
Hey "JANE" ..don't do stuff like that without "TARZAN" around !!!! Lucky you are ok.....! I'm beginning to appreciate small houses right about now ---
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Betty FL on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 16:29
And kids say there is never any excitement around the house during vacation time. If you could have taped that on the video camera, we all would be rich! Do hope you have learned your lesson? Hope you are only sore and not broken.
Betty
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Aunt Audrey on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 16:33
I get it JayJay, you are auditioning to play me in that movie we talked about on the other thread!LOL AAA
Sounds like a normal day to me!! Hope you haven't torn a muscle, broken your nose! Some other things I've done, melted my hair in candles, got it all wound up in those round brushes, got stuck between the wall and the toilet for 6 hours, drove over a piece of concrete in fog and was stuck because none of the wheels were touching the ground, sat on the roof till the kids got back from the drive-in because I climbed up there to retrieve a kite, and the ladder fell. I could go on for hours, DH could have even more fun at my expense!!!LOL
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RE: I was just a swingin...*
Posted by: jay-jayfl on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 16:42
Pretty sure nothing is broken but am getting more sore as I sit here.Heart rate is back to normal now,it scared the whiz out of me.I was gonna surprise DH by doing it while he was out of town for 2 days.I probly wont be able to move when he gets back! It's okay Kris,when I read it just now I thought"what a ditz"
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Red-Mi on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 16:59
Well....where do I start? Caught my hair on fire fixing a kerosene heater, Got my long hair tangled in a drill and almost put my eye out, took a wrong turn on what I thought was a road, but ended up being a real wide walkway and drove down a small set of stairs. Just kept on driving till I got to the road and was hoping nobody saw me...OMG, I could go on and on. Never told anybody about that last one (S)
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Frank-beautiful upstateNY on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 17:37
Been there, done that(but w/o the love seat!)!Doesn't gravity really suck sometimes! I hope you heal up soon.
Frank
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Bee-OH (on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 17:45
OMG!!! These stories are getting hysterical!! I'm splitting a gut laughing.
Jay-Jay I have this picture of you hanging there just like a li'l monkey! Glad you weren't hurt and yes I'll bet you'll REALLY be sore tomorrow.
AAA & Red you 2 are cracking me up!
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RE: stuck in the stove
Posted by: Frank-beautiful upstateNY on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 17:59
Here's a good one. My friend got stuck in his woodstove. He is very thinly built and stuck his upper body in the cold stove in order to do WHAT, I have no idea! He got his shoulders stuck and could not back out. His wife was laughing so hard that she could hardly help him. If I were there, I would have started stuffing in kindling and newspaper!!LOL!
Frank
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Underwater!
Posted by: Aunt Audrey on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 18:03
The Lawman reminded me of the time I went into a restroom at a "Very Swank" Hotel Ballroom, that had these new toilets that go off on their own. I had a Rhumba costume on, short dress with a full-length ruffled tail, well when I stood up I swung the tail around. The force of suction took hold of it and sucked it down, of course I'm attached!! I'm in a very awkward position, cannot free the dress, nor can I get both feet on the ground to maybe balance myself and come up with a strategy. I am in tears after awhile, and scanning for cameras too. Don't really know how long it took for someone to find me, seemed like hours, and then they had to break the door in! Only to find Miss Rhumba with her butt underwater, dress down the drain and both legs in the air! I was really thankful that my portions of all the dance competitions was over! He's LHBO as he leaves to go bowl!!!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Red-Mi on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 18:19
Oh AA, that reminded me of the time I thought the bathroom door at a friends house was stuck. There I was thinking I was trapped in this bathroom, so I start beating on the door. Well instead of the door opening inward, it open the other direction. Not locked in at all, just pulling the door the wrong way.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Frieda - IL on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 18:26
Hahaha... These stories beat the jokes hands down! LOL.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: sharon - ontario on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 19:10
These are great! Jay-Jay - at least the fan wasn't twirling around!! Can you imagine hanging on for dear life! And that toilet episode with AA! It's always funny AFTER the embarassement (or bruises) wear off! Thanks for the laugh!
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RE: I was just a swingin...**
Posted by: jay-jayfl on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 20:14
AAA,I cant top the rhumba dress story! Red,I keep telling you we are twins.I hit myself in the face with a bathroom door that I thought was stuck and got a beautiful black eye once. Once while i was attending a cocktail party for future clients my boss was telling the people, with me handling thier account they were sure to make a big splash,just as he uttered the words I stepped back a step and fell backwards into a pool. SPLASH!! (no we didnt get the account)
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Kris/Mid-South ( on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 20:39
Well, jay-jay, I wasn't thinking you were a ditz, I was thinking how boring my life is! But, upon further reflection, I believe I was having selective memory when I said that I don't do things like that (I was thinking of sight gags). I have done my share, particularly behind the wheel of a car. I've driven up over numerous medians and curbs, driven miles with the parking brake on, my turn signal on, wrong way on a one-way street, etc. Like AAA, I have caught my hair in one of those round brushes and couldn't get it out. Went around most of the day with the brush dangling from my head until finally getting the scissors and cutting it out. Once when I was PG with DS#2, I was at the mall Christmas shopping when I was hit with a wave of nausea. I walked up to the nearest trash can, fished out a large Coke cup and promptly barfed in it, threw it back in the trash can and calmly walked away.
And many years ago, my DH was out of town and I was nervous about staying alone, especially because there had been a crime spree with a lot of break-ins in our neighborhood. I hurried home and went around the house making sure the windows were locked, then holed up the rest of the evening. The next morning I couldn't find my keys, looked everywhere, and FINALLY found them - in the front door! They had been in the lock all night, I guess in my haste to get safely inside, I left them in the lock! So guess I'm the ditz!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Kathy N - MO on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 20:54
ROTFL! All your posts are hilarious! Jay-jay & AAA, we need to rename you
two--Lucy & Ethel. My sides are hurting from laughing.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Donna/TN on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 21:06
Well, i'm still trying to picture Frank's friend stuck in the wood stove!!! LMAO! As for myself, I have never done anything even remotely embarrassing (and if you believe that, then i have some prime swamp land I would like to sell you!)or at least nothing that I'm willing to tell anyone! LOLS!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Mushy - Central Ca on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 1:27
Now Donna, isn't swinging from the ceiling fan something your supposed to do with your DH in the room?
All these stories have me ROTFLMAO!!
When I was a kid I was so good at running into sliding glass doors that my mom finally had to put stickers on them so I could tell that they were closed. Never broke my nose tho.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Red-Mi on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 3:43
I remember one time while working in a store my underwire in my bra came loose and worked it's way up under my chin. Here I am helping a customer wondering what in the world is poking me. Another time I went to work with one pink roller left in the back of my hair. Why doesn't this stuff ever happen when you are alone?
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: kimmieboomboom
KY on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 4:02
ROTFLMAOASTC! With tears in my eyes! Oh Jay-Jay, thank heavens your guardian angel was on duty today! You could have very easily have broken your neck! All of you peeps angels should get medals of honor for keeping up with you all! Of course my angel leads a very 'dull' existence....tee hee! ;) kbb
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Beth on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 7:34
Once I was in a grocery store checking out the hand lotion. I wanted to see what it smelled like so I opened the top and gently squeezed. To my horror a glop of the lotion shot out and filled my left nostril and was running down my face. I must have made a noise because I looked to my right and saw a little old woman staring at me. I very calmly wiped it away and left the store in an embarrassed hurry.
I have been lurking here for months and have never posted. Funny that the first thing I write would be THIS story. LOL! What a nice group of people you are.
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RE: I was just a swingin...'
Posted by: jay-jayfl on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 7:43
That makes you one of us Beth.I'm sure people tell things here they would never dream of telling "up close and personal"
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Jackie WI on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 7:51
Where do I start, once when I went fishing with DH. I was getting bored so I asked him for his knife, I cut this nice twig off a tree and was peeling it, I was just about to put it in my mouth, when DH. came running over grabbed the twig out of my hand, and asked me what I was doing? I told him I was bored and was just going to suck on this twig
and watch him fish. He said well you just peeled POISON IVY !
Then there was the time I was trying to get two frozen hamburger patties apart with a BIG butcher knife, and I stabbed myself in the stomach.
Or the time my two sons thought their mother had gone over the edge for sure, they were in their teens getting ready to go out, DH. and I were watching TV. the weather came
on just about the time they were leaving, I jumped up and said you can't go out of the house tonight, they asked why and I told them the weather man said there was APACHE DEATH FOG out there. they asked me what that was, I said I didn't know but it really sounds bad! I look at DH and he's laughing his head off, and said the weather man said there is patches of dense fog. that was twenty years ago and I still haven't lived it down, every tine they forecast fog someone will tell me not to go out of the house with that APACHE DEATH FOG outside.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Bug MD on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 8:20
Well I am sooooo clumsy so let see I already told you guys about falling in the middle of the road on my way to a job interview. So what next... Ok there was the time I sliped in the mall going down the stairs got my arm stuck between the rail and the wall and couldn't get up because the floor was slick with bath oil (what caused me to slip in the first place) I just sat there bum in mid air, arm wedged in tight because of my heavy winter coat. stuck. because of the oil nobody could really get close enough to help me it took 2 men to free me and they unwedged my arm and let me drop. I left the mall right then.
Then there was the time as a kid I climbed one of the trees in our yard. on my way back down I slipped and got my leg stuck in a branch that was growing up close to the main trunk. My dad had to climb up and free me.
Then there was the time my sister and I were out riding horses( I have never liked those dumb animals) and mine would not follow commands it took me back to the field it liked and right to the tree it liked to stand under. I kept leaning back further in the saddle because I did not want to fall off. Darn horse stopped right under the tree. I was leaning right back in the saddle and could not get my fee out of the sturips. The horses owner came out to coax the horse out into the open but she would not budge, they had to saw a branch off the tree so I could sit up a bit then I got my feet free and slid off the beast. So yes Jay Jay you could say I have done things like that.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: rabbit on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 8:57
OK, I think just maybe, I'm in good company! Did the hairbrush thing, MORE than once. Was painting, on 3rd step of ladder, and stepped back, thinking I was standing on the floor, was no floor there. (how can you forget you're on a ladder?) Cracked head open on fridge, dented fridge. Was mowing, forgot the ditch behind me, walked backward into it. Jumped up, to see if the neighbors saw me.(Thankfully, had a new mower with a shut-off handle, or would have chopped up my legs. Really scared me when I thought about it) My only broken bone, a toe. Had on flip-flops, and stood on a can of tomato juice to reach something, it slid, so did sandel, twisted toe... Next day, dropped a gallon jar of pickles on big toe, next to it. Lost nail... Carrying basket of clothes to line, forgot I put cinder blocks in carport, fell, dumpd clothes in mud, cracked open both knees...Prying apart frozen ham steaks, stabbed thru hand (severed a nerve, hand never has been the same) Did I say I belong here??
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Bonny NorthEastCA on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 11:02
####Was running late getting ready to go to a convention related to DH's timber industry job. Hopped out of shower and decided to "drip dry" while pressing a skirt. Burned a nice long burn right across my abdomen with the iron. (hurt like heck). Later at the convention I was telling a group of people that I had learned a new secret of how to remember to hold my stomach in ----- iron in the nude! One of the guys, laughed and said, "good thing you aren't shorter, or you'd have red striped boobies" and I said, "I'm just thankful I'm not TALLER, or I would have had to call the fire dept. to put out a brush fire." Cracked them all up. But I learned a lesson ----- and have never done that again, I just keep finding new "Lucy" things to learn from. he he. bye Bonny (Granny)
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Murphy IN on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 11:45
Jay Jay. I hope your feeling better by now. I just love these threads. I can't stop laughing. *S*
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Kris/Mid-South on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 11:47
These are all hilarious. Nothing can top AAA's rhumba dress story, although jay-jay's swimming pool tale is a close second. And rabbit, maybe you and Bug are twins! Red's stories are hysterical, keep them coming!
Jackie's fishing adventure reminded me of the time my dad took us fishing. We all got settled in the boat when I noticed a can with cute little red things in it. I thought how nice it was of dad to provide snacks, and scooped up a handful and starting munching on it. My dad watched in disbelief, then explained I had just eaten salmon eggs, which was the bait we were to use! Same outing I kept getting my line tangled with other lines, with stuff in the bottom of the lake, or in the trees when I tried to cast. Dad came to the conclusion I was more trouble than I was worth.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Kim AZ on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 11:54
Stop!! Your killing me!!! This is better than Reader's Digest Laughter Is The Best Medicine!!!!!
Years ago, went to my parents cabin for R&R. Parents were coming up next day. I forgot my BC pills. I called mother and asked her would she please get them, that she could get in thru an open window in the back of my house. When she went to get the pills she was halfway thru the window when a man said "what are you doing breaking into my house?" It was the house next door, they all looked alike, I had just moved there and mother had never been to it before!!
But not me!! I've never stuck a screwdriver in a lightswitch while changing it and not turning off the power. Or dipped my hair in the paint can, or gone one way while the horse went the other way, or called a stranger and sang happy birthday to who I thought was my sister, or fell off the riding mower that father had souped up.....Nope, not me, never done those silly things at all!!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Verna-CA on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 12:06
Another reason I love KT, It's so entertaining. Nothing like a good laugh. Thanks You guys!
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RE: I was just a swingin...''
Posted by: jay-jayfl on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 12:13
I think I'm beginning to see a common link here that bonds us all together at kt. C'mon the rest of you fess up...BTW last night when I got brave enough to tackle the mess the falling ladder made,I bent over as best I could,got tangled up with the broom and the handle flipped up and hit me across the face.I now have one swollen split lip to add to all the aches and pains.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Tahni on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 15:22
you all are just cracking me up..this is way too much fun..
at an office where a new rule was made that no one could eat in their cubicle anymore. Someone had a birthday and snuck in cupcakes with icing 4" high. I had just taken one and started to my desk when the boss walked in, so I crammed it in my pocket. My hand was full of squished cupcake and frosting and I tried to walk on by.. BUT.. he wanted to shake my hand.. what was I to do ? I pulled my hand out and showed him the mess.. he said " Oh, I already had my cupcake".
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RE: did I??
Posted by: rabbitNoCenMO on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 15:36
Scarier
Lived with hunter, was "dusting" with a vaccuum, and sucked up a .22 shell, that went off in the sweeper! It was a Kirby (all metal), and luckily contained it, only cost $160 to repair.
Shocked (literaly) my soon to be DH while repairing a washing machine (he still married me)
Was trying to get a window to swing open DS outside to grab it, so hit it with a screwdriver handle, screwdriver went thru window, luckily DS has great reflexes and ducked. Got a new window.
Stuck foot in gallon paint can while stepping off ladder, got stuck, had to dump to twist foot out (& I really did like that color)
DH has a better memory, but I won't ask....
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Kris/Mid-South on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 15:52
Rabbit, you reminded me of an incident about a month ago when we were painting the dining room a cranberry color. DH alights from ladder, steps directly into roller pan, then leaves a perfect, red (bloody-looking) footprint in middle of dining room floor. I come walking through about an hour or so later and just about died laughing. I thought maybe O.J. had been here!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Red-Mi on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 18:12
When I was working in the store I had to count all the DMC floss for inventory. Here I am down on my hands and knees counting.....up to about 1,005 when these two really old ladies come over to get some floss for their craft project. All of a sudden the very distinguished looking woman tooted. Now my face was butt level and I glanced over at my friend Connie who was helping me count and tears are rolling down her face she is trying so hard not to laugh! Well I lost it, the old ladies walked away like nothing happened, and I had to recount everything I had done.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Kris/Mid-South on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 18:26
I start giggling as soon as I see Red's name at the top of her post, I know it's going to be a whopper! LOL! And jay-jay's got a point, there are some of you out there who are layin' low. It's your turn to tell your stories. I won't mention any names, but the initials are Murphy, Donna, KathyLev, and Bee, for starters. We'll let Kimmie off the hook this time because she's going out of town. We're waiting...
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RE: a swingin...
Posted by: Red-Mi on Thu, Dec 30, 99 at 4:40
Come on guys lets here some more...these are so funny! Back to the top!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Sandra Maine on Thu, Dec 30, 99 at 5:20
You people crack me up you sure have me laughing.Reminds me of the time i went fishing with my hubby we were walking down to the brook and i'm behind and all of a sudden my hubby says look out there's a snake headed right for you well let me tell you thats all the words i had to hear.Well picture this a large woman turning tail and running with her feet coming way off the ground and yelling the fishing pole gets caught on a branch i just let go of it and it's just swinging from the branch.I never stopped running until i got to the car.Had to shake my pant legs out. all i could think of was that snake was chasing me.Never been brook fishing since. The hair brush thing reminds when my daughter wound her long hair up in it and could'd get it out.Her father had to pull each bristle out one by one with a pair of pliers and every time he pulled one his hand came back and hit her in the head.There's been other things to. Ok who's next.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Frank-beautiful upstateNY on Thu, Dec 30, 99 at 6:22
Ok, I remember a couple of shockers. I was putting up a cieling fan (for air circulation not acrobatics, jay-jay) late in the afternoon and it was starting to get dark. I only had a couple more things to complete, when my father walks in and says "Why don't you turn on the light?". As he hit the switch, I gritted my teeth....lost half my favorite screwdriver that day!LOL
And just to show you that I never learn to turn off the breaker, here's another. I was installing a new flourescent fixture in my shop, when my son(three years old at the time) came in and flipped the switch. I got such a zap and let out a yell. Well, I scared him so, that he turned off the switch and ran out the door. I jumped off the later and took off after him. I caught up with him just outside the shop, grabbed him and fell to the grass. I looked at him, glaring at me with wide open eyes of fear, and just started laughing. After a second, he laughed too. If only he could remember that incident now!
My freind, the one that got stuck in the woodstove, was in the barn one day doing chores with his son(four or five years old at that time)and myself. I just happened to turn to see my freind bent over in front of the cow stanchions and his son coming through the bars, towards his father's backside, with his head looking down and his pitch fork looking up! He jabbed dad square in the butt!! All, you heard was a very loud Oooouuuuuuu! I actually FOTFLMAO! My freind immediately interrogated his son, "you didn't do that on purpose did you bud????"...."nnnnnoo,no, dad, it was axecident! Honest!!!!" I still laugh at that one.
Frank
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RE: I was just a swingin...re
Posted by: jay-jayfl on Thu, Dec 30, 99 at 8:43
I dont know if this one will fly guys..The firm that I worked with did a lot of thier business at cocktail parties and it was required that everyone attend.I had really been putting in some long hours at the office and this party slipped my mind.I sent this gal out to buy me a dress as I didnt have time to go home.The dress was lovely but extremely low cut.I was sitting with a group and getting sleepier by the minute when one of the gentlemen said he'd like his drink refreshed.Thinking this would be a chance to walk a little and wake up,I jumped up and said I'd go to the bar and get his drink.I leaned over to get his glass and "everything" fell out the top of the dress. I was stunned and mumbled "I dont know what to say",the distinguished gentleman looked me right in the eye and said"ME NEITHER!"
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: sharon - ontario on Thu, Dec 30, 99 at 22:11
These are so funny! A few years back we went to the lake to see all the ice piles that accumulate after a strong wind. These piles had to be about 10-15 ft. high. My kids and DH were at the top and I was ALMOST up when I lost my footing and started to fall backwards in what seemed like slow motion - I ended up sliding on my back all the way to the bottom and was laying there laughing and feeling really stupid (since I couldn't get up with my feet pointing UP the hill) when all of a sudden this fellow leans over me with a STRAIGHT face (still can't believe he could do that) and said "you should be careful on the ice, you could hurt yourself"! I was so embarassed but couldn't catch my breath for laughing so hard ! I guess you had to be there!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: sharon - ontario on Fri, Dec 31, 99 at 17:19
Bringing this back to the top - just too funny to miss!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: kathy on Fri, Dec 31, 99 at 18:29
You have me roaring with laughter. Had to wipe the tears away so I could see to type.
Last year we had a very sick dog. She was on our bed & DH and I were rubbing her back, just glad she was still with us. I was facing toward the center of the bed, backside on the edge. Needless to say, lost my balance and my entire life flashed before my eyes before I went backwards. Hit my head on the table by the bed & twisted my shoulder. Funny now but not at the time. By the way--dog pulled thru and is back to her old self.
When I was working the office building would have a C'mas party with band, big time thing. My boss asked me to dance, they were playing the polka. We started, my foot slipped and I tumbled in the air landing on the floor on my backside. Red faced?
When I was much younger (a few years ago), Mom & Dad took us on vacation to Canada. While there found rocks with fool's gold vein. Took them home and later proceeded to mine the gold with hammer and screwdriver. The result..a particle in the eye & Mother had to take me to Dr. to remove it.
I've done the round hairbrush thing too many times too mention. I won't own one of those **?! now. Flat ones for me. Curling irons, at least once a week I would burn something, hand, cheek, forehead. Don't use those anymore either. DH refuses to buy power tools for me..afraid of what might happen when he's not around.
Now that my eyes have dried..got to search the other threads. Thanks sooo much for the laughter. Made my day to know of others like me.
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Posted by jay-jayfl on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 16:07
Talk about dumb.I decided to take down pine garland and lights from my cathedral ceilings.I put the extension ladder up against the ceiling beam.When I got almost to the top the ladder started sliding down the beam and into the ceiling fan. I grabbed the fan and the ladder fell,leaving me hanging from the fan which I knew wouldnt hold my weight.I swung my body to the right,let go,and landed upside down on a loveseat,kinda.I now have a sore shoulder and ankle.Do you do things like this????
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Follow-Up Postings:
RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Kris/Mid-South on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 16:16
I'm so glad you are all right, but your description had me ROTFL! Golly, the images you conjured up!! And sorry to disappoint, jay-jay, but I don't do things like that (and live to tell). Take care of that shoulder and stay away from ladders and ceiling fans. I'm still LOLLOL!! Please don't come back later and tell us you have a broken bone, then all of us will feel guilty about cracking up!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: KathyLev-WI on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 16:19
Hey "JANE" ..don't do stuff like that without "TARZAN" around !!!! Lucky you are ok.....! I'm beginning to appreciate small houses right about now ---
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Betty FL on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 16:29
And kids say there is never any excitement around the house during vacation time. If you could have taped that on the video camera, we all would be rich! Do hope you have learned your lesson? Hope you are only sore and not broken.
Betty
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Aunt Audrey on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 16:33
I get it JayJay, you are auditioning to play me in that movie we talked about on the other thread!LOL AAA
Sounds like a normal day to me!! Hope you haven't torn a muscle, broken your nose! Some other things I've done, melted my hair in candles, got it all wound up in those round brushes, got stuck between the wall and the toilet for 6 hours, drove over a piece of concrete in fog and was stuck because none of the wheels were touching the ground, sat on the roof till the kids got back from the drive-in because I climbed up there to retrieve a kite, and the ladder fell. I could go on for hours, DH could have even more fun at my expense!!!LOL
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RE: I was just a swingin...*
Posted by: jay-jayfl on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 16:42
Pretty sure nothing is broken but am getting more sore as I sit here.Heart rate is back to normal now,it scared the whiz out of me.I was gonna surprise DH by doing it while he was out of town for 2 days.I probly wont be able to move when he gets back! It's okay Kris,when I read it just now I thought"what a ditz"
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Red-Mi on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 16:59
Well....where do I start? Caught my hair on fire fixing a kerosene heater, Got my long hair tangled in a drill and almost put my eye out, took a wrong turn on what I thought was a road, but ended up being a real wide walkway and drove down a small set of stairs. Just kept on driving till I got to the road and was hoping nobody saw me...OMG, I could go on and on. Never told anybody about that last one (S)
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Frank-beautiful upstateNY on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 17:37
Been there, done that(but w/o the love seat!)!Doesn't gravity really suck sometimes! I hope you heal up soon.
Frank
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Bee-OH (on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 17:45
OMG!!! These stories are getting hysterical!! I'm splitting a gut laughing.
Jay-Jay I have this picture of you hanging there just like a li'l monkey! Glad you weren't hurt and yes I'll bet you'll REALLY be sore tomorrow.
AAA & Red you 2 are cracking me up!
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RE: stuck in the stove
Posted by: Frank-beautiful upstateNY on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 17:59
Here's a good one. My friend got stuck in his woodstove. He is very thinly built and stuck his upper body in the cold stove in order to do WHAT, I have no idea! He got his shoulders stuck and could not back out. His wife was laughing so hard that she could hardly help him. If I were there, I would have started stuffing in kindling and newspaper!!LOL!
Frank
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Underwater!
Posted by: Aunt Audrey on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 18:03
The Lawman reminded me of the time I went into a restroom at a "Very Swank" Hotel Ballroom, that had these new toilets that go off on their own. I had a Rhumba costume on, short dress with a full-length ruffled tail, well when I stood up I swung the tail around. The force of suction took hold of it and sucked it down, of course I'm attached!! I'm in a very awkward position, cannot free the dress, nor can I get both feet on the ground to maybe balance myself and come up with a strategy. I am in tears after awhile, and scanning for cameras too. Don't really know how long it took for someone to find me, seemed like hours, and then they had to break the door in! Only to find Miss Rhumba with her butt underwater, dress down the drain and both legs in the air! I was really thankful that my portions of all the dance competitions was over! He's LHBO as he leaves to go bowl!!!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Red-Mi on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 18:19
Oh AA, that reminded me of the time I thought the bathroom door at a friends house was stuck. There I was thinking I was trapped in this bathroom, so I start beating on the door. Well instead of the door opening inward, it open the other direction. Not locked in at all, just pulling the door the wrong way.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Frieda - IL on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 18:26
Hahaha... These stories beat the jokes hands down! LOL.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: sharon - ontario on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 19:10
These are great! Jay-Jay - at least the fan wasn't twirling around!! Can you imagine hanging on for dear life! And that toilet episode with AA! It's always funny AFTER the embarassement (or bruises) wear off! Thanks for the laugh!
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RE: I was just a swingin...**
Posted by: jay-jayfl on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 20:14
AAA,I cant top the rhumba dress story! Red,I keep telling you we are twins.I hit myself in the face with a bathroom door that I thought was stuck and got a beautiful black eye once. Once while i was attending a cocktail party for future clients my boss was telling the people, with me handling thier account they were sure to make a big splash,just as he uttered the words I stepped back a step and fell backwards into a pool. SPLASH!! (no we didnt get the account)
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Kris/Mid-South ( on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 20:39
Well, jay-jay, I wasn't thinking you were a ditz, I was thinking how boring my life is! But, upon further reflection, I believe I was having selective memory when I said that I don't do things like that (I was thinking of sight gags). I have done my share, particularly behind the wheel of a car. I've driven up over numerous medians and curbs, driven miles with the parking brake on, my turn signal on, wrong way on a one-way street, etc. Like AAA, I have caught my hair in one of those round brushes and couldn't get it out. Went around most of the day with the brush dangling from my head until finally getting the scissors and cutting it out. Once when I was PG with DS#2, I was at the mall Christmas shopping when I was hit with a wave of nausea. I walked up to the nearest trash can, fished out a large Coke cup and promptly barfed in it, threw it back in the trash can and calmly walked away.
And many years ago, my DH was out of town and I was nervous about staying alone, especially because there had been a crime spree with a lot of break-ins in our neighborhood. I hurried home and went around the house making sure the windows were locked, then holed up the rest of the evening. The next morning I couldn't find my keys, looked everywhere, and FINALLY found them - in the front door! They had been in the lock all night, I guess in my haste to get safely inside, I left them in the lock! So guess I'm the ditz!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Kathy N - MO on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 20:54
ROTFL! All your posts are hilarious! Jay-jay & AAA, we need to rename you
two--Lucy & Ethel. My sides are hurting from laughing.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Donna/TN on Tue, Dec 28, 99 at 21:06
Well, i'm still trying to picture Frank's friend stuck in the wood stove!!! LMAO! As for myself, I have never done anything even remotely embarrassing (and if you believe that, then i have some prime swamp land I would like to sell you!)or at least nothing that I'm willing to tell anyone! LOLS!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Mushy - Central Ca on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 1:27
Now Donna, isn't swinging from the ceiling fan something your supposed to do with your DH in the room?
All these stories have me ROTFLMAO!!
When I was a kid I was so good at running into sliding glass doors that my mom finally had to put stickers on them so I could tell that they were closed. Never broke my nose tho.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Red-Mi on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 3:43
I remember one time while working in a store my underwire in my bra came loose and worked it's way up under my chin. Here I am helping a customer wondering what in the world is poking me. Another time I went to work with one pink roller left in the back of my hair. Why doesn't this stuff ever happen when you are alone?
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: kimmieboomboom
KY on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 4:02
ROTFLMAOASTC! With tears in my eyes! Oh Jay-Jay, thank heavens your guardian angel was on duty today! You could have very easily have broken your neck! All of you peeps angels should get medals of honor for keeping up with you all! Of course my angel leads a very 'dull' existence....tee hee! ;) kbb
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Beth on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 7:34
Once I was in a grocery store checking out the hand lotion. I wanted to see what it smelled like so I opened the top and gently squeezed. To my horror a glop of the lotion shot out and filled my left nostril and was running down my face. I must have made a noise because I looked to my right and saw a little old woman staring at me. I very calmly wiped it away and left the store in an embarrassed hurry.
I have been lurking here for months and have never posted. Funny that the first thing I write would be THIS story. LOL! What a nice group of people you are.
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RE: I was just a swingin...'
Posted by: jay-jayfl on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 7:43
That makes you one of us Beth.I'm sure people tell things here they would never dream of telling "up close and personal"
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Jackie WI on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 7:51
Where do I start, once when I went fishing with DH. I was getting bored so I asked him for his knife, I cut this nice twig off a tree and was peeling it, I was just about to put it in my mouth, when DH. came running over grabbed the twig out of my hand, and asked me what I was doing? I told him I was bored and was just going to suck on this twig
and watch him fish. He said well you just peeled POISON IVY !
Then there was the time I was trying to get two frozen hamburger patties apart with a BIG butcher knife, and I stabbed myself in the stomach.
Or the time my two sons thought their mother had gone over the edge for sure, they were in their teens getting ready to go out, DH. and I were watching TV. the weather came
on just about the time they were leaving, I jumped up and said you can't go out of the house tonight, they asked why and I told them the weather man said there was APACHE DEATH FOG out there. they asked me what that was, I said I didn't know but it really sounds bad! I look at DH and he's laughing his head off, and said the weather man said there is patches of dense fog. that was twenty years ago and I still haven't lived it down, every tine they forecast fog someone will tell me not to go out of the house with that APACHE DEATH FOG outside.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Bug MD on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 8:20
Well I am sooooo clumsy so let see I already told you guys about falling in the middle of the road on my way to a job interview. So what next... Ok there was the time I sliped in the mall going down the stairs got my arm stuck between the rail and the wall and couldn't get up because the floor was slick with bath oil (what caused me to slip in the first place) I just sat there bum in mid air, arm wedged in tight because of my heavy winter coat. stuck. because of the oil nobody could really get close enough to help me it took 2 men to free me and they unwedged my arm and let me drop. I left the mall right then.
Then there was the time as a kid I climbed one of the trees in our yard. on my way back down I slipped and got my leg stuck in a branch that was growing up close to the main trunk. My dad had to climb up and free me.
Then there was the time my sister and I were out riding horses( I have never liked those dumb animals) and mine would not follow commands it took me back to the field it liked and right to the tree it liked to stand under. I kept leaning back further in the saddle because I did not want to fall off. Darn horse stopped right under the tree. I was leaning right back in the saddle and could not get my fee out of the sturips. The horses owner came out to coax the horse out into the open but she would not budge, they had to saw a branch off the tree so I could sit up a bit then I got my feet free and slid off the beast. So yes Jay Jay you could say I have done things like that.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: rabbit on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 8:57
OK, I think just maybe, I'm in good company! Did the hairbrush thing, MORE than once. Was painting, on 3rd step of ladder, and stepped back, thinking I was standing on the floor, was no floor there. (how can you forget you're on a ladder?) Cracked head open on fridge, dented fridge. Was mowing, forgot the ditch behind me, walked backward into it. Jumped up, to see if the neighbors saw me.(Thankfully, had a new mower with a shut-off handle, or would have chopped up my legs. Really scared me when I thought about it) My only broken bone, a toe. Had on flip-flops, and stood on a can of tomato juice to reach something, it slid, so did sandel, twisted toe... Next day, dropped a gallon jar of pickles on big toe, next to it. Lost nail... Carrying basket of clothes to line, forgot I put cinder blocks in carport, fell, dumpd clothes in mud, cracked open both knees...Prying apart frozen ham steaks, stabbed thru hand (severed a nerve, hand never has been the same) Did I say I belong here??
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Bonny NorthEastCA on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 11:02
####Was running late getting ready to go to a convention related to DH's timber industry job. Hopped out of shower and decided to "drip dry" while pressing a skirt. Burned a nice long burn right across my abdomen with the iron. (hurt like heck). Later at the convention I was telling a group of people that I had learned a new secret of how to remember to hold my stomach in ----- iron in the nude! One of the guys, laughed and said, "good thing you aren't shorter, or you'd have red striped boobies" and I said, "I'm just thankful I'm not TALLER, or I would have had to call the fire dept. to put out a brush fire." Cracked them all up. But I learned a lesson ----- and have never done that again, I just keep finding new "Lucy" things to learn from. he he. bye Bonny (Granny)
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Murphy IN on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 11:45
Jay Jay. I hope your feeling better by now. I just love these threads. I can't stop laughing. *S*
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Kris/Mid-South on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 11:47
These are all hilarious. Nothing can top AAA's rhumba dress story, although jay-jay's swimming pool tale is a close second. And rabbit, maybe you and Bug are twins! Red's stories are hysterical, keep them coming!
Jackie's fishing adventure reminded me of the time my dad took us fishing. We all got settled in the boat when I noticed a can with cute little red things in it. I thought how nice it was of dad to provide snacks, and scooped up a handful and starting munching on it. My dad watched in disbelief, then explained I had just eaten salmon eggs, which was the bait we were to use! Same outing I kept getting my line tangled with other lines, with stuff in the bottom of the lake, or in the trees when I tried to cast. Dad came to the conclusion I was more trouble than I was worth.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Kim AZ on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 11:54
Stop!! Your killing me!!! This is better than Reader's Digest Laughter Is The Best Medicine!!!!!
Years ago, went to my parents cabin for R&R. Parents were coming up next day. I forgot my BC pills. I called mother and asked her would she please get them, that she could get in thru an open window in the back of my house. When she went to get the pills she was halfway thru the window when a man said "what are you doing breaking into my house?" It was the house next door, they all looked alike, I had just moved there and mother had never been to it before!!
But not me!! I've never stuck a screwdriver in a lightswitch while changing it and not turning off the power. Or dipped my hair in the paint can, or gone one way while the horse went the other way, or called a stranger and sang happy birthday to who I thought was my sister, or fell off the riding mower that father had souped up.....Nope, not me, never done those silly things at all!!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Verna-CA on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 12:06
Another reason I love KT, It's so entertaining. Nothing like a good laugh. Thanks You guys!
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RE: I was just a swingin...''
Posted by: jay-jayfl on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 12:13
I think I'm beginning to see a common link here that bonds us all together at kt. C'mon the rest of you fess up...BTW last night when I got brave enough to tackle the mess the falling ladder made,I bent over as best I could,got tangled up with the broom and the handle flipped up and hit me across the face.I now have one swollen split lip to add to all the aches and pains.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Tahni on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 15:22
you all are just cracking me up..this is way too much fun..
at an office where a new rule was made that no one could eat in their cubicle anymore. Someone had a birthday and snuck in cupcakes with icing 4" high. I had just taken one and started to my desk when the boss walked in, so I crammed it in my pocket. My hand was full of squished cupcake and frosting and I tried to walk on by.. BUT.. he wanted to shake my hand.. what was I to do ? I pulled my hand out and showed him the mess.. he said " Oh, I already had my cupcake".
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RE: did I??
Posted by: rabbitNoCenMO on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 15:36
Scarier
Lived with hunter, was "dusting" with a vaccuum, and sucked up a .22 shell, that went off in the sweeper! It was a Kirby (all metal), and luckily contained it, only cost $160 to repair.
Shocked (literaly) my soon to be DH while repairing a washing machine (he still married me)
Was trying to get a window to swing open DS outside to grab it, so hit it with a screwdriver handle, screwdriver went thru window, luckily DS has great reflexes and ducked. Got a new window.
Stuck foot in gallon paint can while stepping off ladder, got stuck, had to dump to twist foot out (& I really did like that color)
DH has a better memory, but I won't ask....
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Kris/Mid-South on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 15:52
Rabbit, you reminded me of an incident about a month ago when we were painting the dining room a cranberry color. DH alights from ladder, steps directly into roller pan, then leaves a perfect, red (bloody-looking) footprint in middle of dining room floor. I come walking through about an hour or so later and just about died laughing. I thought maybe O.J. had been here!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Red-Mi on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 18:12
When I was working in the store I had to count all the DMC floss for inventory. Here I am down on my hands and knees counting.....up to about 1,005 when these two really old ladies come over to get some floss for their craft project. All of a sudden the very distinguished looking woman tooted. Now my face was butt level and I glanced over at my friend Connie who was helping me count and tears are rolling down her face she is trying so hard not to laugh! Well I lost it, the old ladies walked away like nothing happened, and I had to recount everything I had done.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Kris/Mid-South on Wed, Dec 29, 99 at 18:26
I start giggling as soon as I see Red's name at the top of her post, I know it's going to be a whopper! LOL! And jay-jay's got a point, there are some of you out there who are layin' low. It's your turn to tell your stories. I won't mention any names, but the initials are Murphy, Donna, KathyLev, and Bee, for starters. We'll let Kimmie off the hook this time because she's going out of town. We're waiting...
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RE: a swingin...
Posted by: Red-Mi on Thu, Dec 30, 99 at 4:40
Come on guys lets here some more...these are so funny! Back to the top!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Sandra Maine on Thu, Dec 30, 99 at 5:20
You people crack me up you sure have me laughing.Reminds me of the time i went fishing with my hubby we were walking down to the brook and i'm behind and all of a sudden my hubby says look out there's a snake headed right for you well let me tell you thats all the words i had to hear.Well picture this a large woman turning tail and running with her feet coming way off the ground and yelling the fishing pole gets caught on a branch i just let go of it and it's just swinging from the branch.I never stopped running until i got to the car.Had to shake my pant legs out. all i could think of was that snake was chasing me.Never been brook fishing since. The hair brush thing reminds when my daughter wound her long hair up in it and could'd get it out.Her father had to pull each bristle out one by one with a pair of pliers and every time he pulled one his hand came back and hit her in the head.There's been other things to. Ok who's next.
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: Frank-beautiful upstateNY on Thu, Dec 30, 99 at 6:22
Ok, I remember a couple of shockers. I was putting up a cieling fan (for air circulation not acrobatics, jay-jay) late in the afternoon and it was starting to get dark. I only had a couple more things to complete, when my father walks in and says "Why don't you turn on the light?". As he hit the switch, I gritted my teeth....lost half my favorite screwdriver that day!LOL
And just to show you that I never learn to turn off the breaker, here's another. I was installing a new flourescent fixture in my shop, when my son(three years old at the time) came in and flipped the switch. I got such a zap and let out a yell. Well, I scared him so, that he turned off the switch and ran out the door. I jumped off the later and took off after him. I caught up with him just outside the shop, grabbed him and fell to the grass. I looked at him, glaring at me with wide open eyes of fear, and just started laughing. After a second, he laughed too. If only he could remember that incident now!
My freind, the one that got stuck in the woodstove, was in the barn one day doing chores with his son(four or five years old at that time)and myself. I just happened to turn to see my freind bent over in front of the cow stanchions and his son coming through the bars, towards his father's backside, with his head looking down and his pitch fork looking up! He jabbed dad square in the butt!! All, you heard was a very loud Oooouuuuuuu! I actually FOTFLMAO! My freind immediately interrogated his son, "you didn't do that on purpose did you bud????"...."nnnnnoo,no, dad, it was axecident! Honest!!!!" I still laugh at that one.
Frank
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RE: I was just a swingin...re
Posted by: jay-jayfl on Thu, Dec 30, 99 at 8:43
I dont know if this one will fly guys..The firm that I worked with did a lot of thier business at cocktail parties and it was required that everyone attend.I had really been putting in some long hours at the office and this party slipped my mind.I sent this gal out to buy me a dress as I didnt have time to go home.The dress was lovely but extremely low cut.I was sitting with a group and getting sleepier by the minute when one of the gentlemen said he'd like his drink refreshed.Thinking this would be a chance to walk a little and wake up,I jumped up and said I'd go to the bar and get his drink.I leaned over to get his glass and "everything" fell out the top of the dress. I was stunned and mumbled "I dont know what to say",the distinguished gentleman looked me right in the eye and said"ME NEITHER!"
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: sharon - ontario on Thu, Dec 30, 99 at 22:11
These are so funny! A few years back we went to the lake to see all the ice piles that accumulate after a strong wind. These piles had to be about 10-15 ft. high. My kids and DH were at the top and I was ALMOST up when I lost my footing and started to fall backwards in what seemed like slow motion - I ended up sliding on my back all the way to the bottom and was laying there laughing and feeling really stupid (since I couldn't get up with my feet pointing UP the hill) when all of a sudden this fellow leans over me with a STRAIGHT face (still can't believe he could do that) and said "you should be careful on the ice, you could hurt yourself"! I was so embarassed but couldn't catch my breath for laughing so hard ! I guess you had to be there!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: sharon - ontario on Fri, Dec 31, 99 at 17:19
Bringing this back to the top - just too funny to miss!
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RE: I was just a swingin...
Posted by: kathy on Fri, Dec 31, 99 at 18:29
You have me roaring with laughter. Had to wipe the tears away so I could see to type.
Last year we had a very sick dog. She was on our bed & DH and I were rubbing her back, just glad she was still with us. I was facing toward the center of the bed, backside on the edge. Needless to say, lost my balance and my entire life flashed before my eyes before I went backwards. Hit my head on the table by the bed & twisted my shoulder. Funny now but not at the time. By the way--dog pulled thru and is back to her old self.
When I was working the office building would have a C'mas party with band, big time thing. My boss asked me to dance, they were playing the polka. We started, my foot slipped and I tumbled in the air landing on the floor on my backside. Red faced?
When I was much younger (a few years ago), Mom & Dad took us on vacation to Canada. While there found rocks with fool's gold vein. Took them home and later proceeded to mine the gold with hammer and screwdriver. The result..a particle in the eye & Mother had to take me to Dr. to remove it.
I've done the round hairbrush thing too many times too mention. I won't own one of those **?! now. Flat ones for me. Curling irons, at least once a week I would burn something, hand, cheek, forehead. Don't use those anymore either. DH refuses to buy power tools for me..afraid of what might happen when he's not around.
Now that my eyes have dried..got to search the other threads. Thanks sooo much for the laughter. Made my day to know of others like me.
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